joy is disobedient--it doesn’t always come when we call it. you can make efforts to be happy, but if it were something that happened at the snap of our fingers, we’d all be living in bliss. anxiety, sadness, depression can strike no matter if you’re on a trip to the local farmer’s market or across the country. i've been working on not putting it to the side just because it's inconvenient.
i'm not writing this post to complain, that's not my style. this is for perspective. there are a lot of preconceived notions about what living in Paris looks like on social media and in the movies. i can confidently say that while this year has been amazing, it hasn't been too glamorous.
You've accepted me plainly as your daughter ever since you proposed to my mother four years ago. Whenever you introduce me there is no "step" included, no separation between the fact that I'm another one of your kids. But, I always make the distinction. Not because I don't see you as true family, but because in my mind it's almost offensive to lump you with my actual loser dad. You've elevated the meaning of family--your presence has been a step up.